'Coworker talks to herself as well as inanimate objects': 10+ bizarre coworker stories

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 11, 2023 2:00 PM EDT

We have all had that one coworker...

 

You know who we mean. The one that absolutely no one else in the office can understand no matter how hard they try. Well, as it turns out, that bizarre coworker is not the only one out there. Keep scrolling below for these top bizarre coworker anecdotes. For more, check out these top choosing beggars of the week!

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  • 01
    Computer - Bizarre Coworkers
    via Israel Andrade
  • 02

    The mugshot. What a twist!

    Font - heylooknewpillows. Office job. Had to teach him his job again every day. EVERY. DAY. 6 weeks he was with us (contractor/staff aug). Had a pentagram on his chin he covered (poorly) with makeup a daily basis. Awkward, but nice enough, honestly. Someone else I worked with googled his name years later and found him on a mugshot website on the other side of the country. Huh. 2.3k Share
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  • 03

    Tim certainly has a funny bone

    Font - [deleted] Working in tech support, I was friends with Tim. Tim liked three things, Baseball, Wrestling (WWE), and my comedy. He thought EVERYTHING I said was hilarious. I could tell he was going to start laughing ten seconds before he would; as I would arrive to the punchline (and sometimes, just an end to a normal sentence), he would begin to shake and crack a smile. For example: . "This lady couldn't understand why her internet wasn't working-" *Tim shakes, starts to smile* "Yeah?", cho
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 04

    "The field seems to attract them..." I guess we'll take your word for it!

    Cheezburger Image 9762533632
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  • 05

    I can't tell what's worse: the mullet or the "ohmygod!!!"

    Font - JU Detachable Priebus. Todd. He stood about 5'6", or 5'9" if you measured to the top of his mullet. Laughed like a donkey. Was physically incapable of talking quietly. I honestly liked the guy, but he *could not* keep his cool around attractive women. At least once every shift we would hear this high-pitched "ohymygod!!" from the other side of the store (that was the sound of Todd noticing a woman) followed by the supervisor aggressively tracking him down to contain the situation. I'm not
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  • 06

    Keep scrolling below for more of Leslie's saga!

    Font - Kristaboo14. As far as a weird coworker goes. I worked for a construction company in accounting. There were 4 of us in the department and we shared one big room as an office. Our supervisor sat on one side, us 3 on the other. The company was extremely laxed, no real dress code, just get your work done and you could pretty much do whatever you wanted and if you finished early, you could go home a little early and get paid for the day. Anyway, we all got along fine... except this real old l
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  • 07

    In my older age, I hope someone refers to me as a "miserable old bat!"

    Font - She hated all joy and all of us, the only person she partly tolerated was our supervisor who was much younger than her. She would constantly about the way we "stunk" of perfume, she would pretend to choke when I put on scentless lotion (mind you, she smoked and reeked of cigarettes), she would huff and puff if you put anything on her desk for her to do, if her phone rang she picked it up with "Yeah, what?" Just a miserable old bat.
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  • 08

    Here comes the plot twist!

    Font - But then one day, our supervisor sat us down, and goes "I feel the need to address something because it had been brought up to me nearly every day for the past 6 months. I know we are very relaxed here, but apparently phone usage is a problem with some people. I know I use my phone, I'll try my best to cut down too..." And we side eye each other and Leslie starts to full blown cry. Like weep pitifully. "It's only HER!" she nearly shouts. Pointing at me, the youngest of all 4 of us, "She j
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  • 09

    Omg calm down, Leslie!

    Font - My supervisor's eyes get really wide, she's freaked out and she says "Leslie, I really don't see her on her phone that much. No more than any of us here." My other coworker chimes in "Yeah, I don't see Kristaboo14 on her phone that much and I sit right next to her. We all use our phones occasionally..." "NO! YOU JUST DON'T SEE IT! SHE IS ALWAYS ON HER PHONE!!!" Leslie screams, her voice echoing in the room at this point.
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  • 10

    Was Leslie crazy or did she just want her own cubicle all along?

    Font - At this point, my supervisor escorts her out. I don't see her again the rest of the day. The next day I come in, a few construction guys from the yard are in our office building her a cubicle in the corner of the room. She literally just could not stand to see me. No complaints about the phone after that, but she still continued to be a miserable old bat. I have NO idea why she targeted me, or what the issue was. She was about 70 and I was in my 20s? Maybe it was just the age gap? I have
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  • 11

    Wait... should I have my parents stop picking me up from work?

    Font - [deleted] At my first professional job, I worked with a 28-year-old woman who might as well have been 10. Her parents picked her up and dropped her off, she had to have them constantly reassure her, and her mom handled most of her affairs for her. I honestly never really understood why the office tolerated her incredible childish nature. The top two moments for me: 1. She got really emotional because a baby bird fell out of a tree outside. Her mom had to come pick her up, while her dad tr
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 12

    "Wherever you are, Sarah..." but what if she's still locked in the bathroom?

    Font - 2. I shared that my family dog was going to be put down, as he was 19 years old and his quality of life was nearly zero. This caused her to enter a screaming fit where she locked herself in the bathroom, and then she couldn't figure out how to unlock herself. We had to call a locksmith via building management. Wherever you are, Sarah - I hope you are okay. 3.9k Share
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 13

    As Jason Derulo would say, "and the trumpets, they go..."

    Font - Lanceth115. We have this co-worker. We call him Ed Trumpet. He basically makes these trumpet sounds when he did something good. He also using his table as his own drumset. When he comes in he takes of his shoes and puts on these... Loafers... 1.1k Share
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  • 14

    And now for a tale about the very immature, very annoying Ann!

    Font - DrunkThrowsMcBrady. Weirdest coworker I've had: I'll call her Ann. Ann was in her late 20's, but almost every story of her purchasing anything either started with "My man bought me..." or "My daddy bought me..." - and I don't mean just expensive things, even her basic shoes and purse were purchased by either her SO or father. So, fairly immature, you get the picture.
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  • 15

    NO to sleep machines in the office!

    Font - She constantly tried to drown out the rest of us making light typing noises and stray conversation by turning up one of those "sleep machines" quite loudly. Her next-cubicle- neighbor constantly had to ask her to turn it down. The white noise setting was okay, but she also sometimes set it to Ocean or Rainforest, and Rainforest included bird sounds.
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  • 16

    And NO to these exclamations!

    Font - Even though she was trying to cover up our noises, she had no qualms about making her own. 65% of her job consisted of data entry, but every time she made a mistake, she exclaimed "Cheese and crackers!", "Dangit!", "Stars and stripes!", or "Oh gosh darn!". And she made a lot of mistakes in day.
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  • 17

    Here comes the climax...

    Font - She also loved to remind everyone that she was germaphobic and preferred things perfect and clean at all times (of course, she was one of those people who labeled herself OCD even though really, she just liked things neat and tidy). One day, a coworker who sat all the way across the room from her, came in with a bit of a cold. That coworker couldn't help from coughing and sneezing, and Ann made it known she would have preferred someone contagious stay home, even though the sick coworker k
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 18

    I'm both surprised and unsurprised by Ann's behavior here!

    Font - Without saying a word, I hear an aerosol can go off, followed by "What the Ann? Don't just SPRAY ME with LYSOL! What's wrong with you?? You can't just sneak up on people and spray them with chemicals!!" Ann tried to apologize, but of course in her mind, she was doing the sick coworker a favor by just drive- by-spraying her with a disinfectant. She kept insisting that, although she would never go to work sick, if she did, she would absolutely appreciate it if we sprayed her with Lysol.
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  • 19

    And NO to sentences that begin with "My man insists..."

    Font - Finally, the weirdest thing was that she always had perfectly pedicured and painted toenails, and always wore open-toed shoes (despite always complaining her feet were cold). But every single time anybody complimented her toenail color or shape, she'd always reply with "Well, my man insists I always have perfect feet and beautiful toenails, so he pays for me to get a pedicure every week." Finally her next-cubicle-neighbor coworker told her, "You keep saying that, and we don't care about y
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  • 20

    This assessment sounds accurate...

    Font - Also, I worked with her for one year, and could never find out if her "My Man" was a boyfriend, fiancee, husband, sugar daddy, or even his name... For the whole year, he was simply "My Man". I'm not 100% sure he exists. 1.9k Share ...
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  • 21

    Bcause789, did we work together?

    Font - Bcause789. I had a coworker that knew every episode of the telletubbies by heart. He was like 30 years old. EDIT: A lot of you have been asking if he has kids. He doesn't, he's just really into telletubbies. 909 Share
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 22

    This might also be me...

    Font - Rigelian417 Coworker talks to herself as well as inanimate objects, and responds to herself as if it's an actual conversation. I can tell what she ate for lunch based on what barnyard animal noises she's making when she returns from break. She gets on her hands and knees and barks like a dog at random. A simple paper cut would make you think she lost a limb by the screams. . I'm the only person on staff who isn't terrified of her. 1.8k Share
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments
  • 23

    Yikes! What decade are we in?

    Font - dubov. Probably the guy who brought an escort into the office. Not sure what his motive was, probably wanted us to think he was a hit with the ladies. He had reception buzz 'his girl' in, she came up to his desk and led him out in full view of everyone. Procedures were changed shortly afterwards 302 Share
    via u/I_are_facepalm + comments

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